Oh, Lisa Jacobs. Somehow I knew this was coming. (For those of you just joining us, this is Day 4 of the New Year for a New You Challenge.)
I’ve been working through her Illuminate class and this really hit home for me.
Such a big question: What would you do if you could not fail?
Yesterday I wasn’t ready to share my answers to the prompts. Today I decided to toss caution to the wind and get real. I mean, I’d like to think I’ve been pretty real on this blog over the years. I’ve shared my weight loss struggles and bariatric surgery, disordered eating which led to changing the name of my blog from The Local Cook to Wholistic Woman, and my marathon journey which included a DNF (did not finish) the first time. Oh and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my first failed marriage.
Somehow, all of those were easier to talk about than what I’m going to share today!
Here are the official prompts:
- What would you do in 2017 if you knew you could not fail?
- What are some things you could be doing that you’ve been too afraid to try? How can you stretch your comfort zone?
- What have you been struggling with for entirely too long?
- What could you outsource, delegate, automate, and/or stop doing in 2017?
- In what ways and which areas will you “upgrade” your life?
Through all of the reflection that I’ve been doing over the past few weeks, I have come to realize that I operate out of fear. I have lots of plans and dreams, but when it comes to execution . . . I am too afraid to make the leap. I plan classes and never get launched because I’m afraid no one will attend. I have clients I don’t follow up with because I’m afraid they will say that no, they don’t want coaching after all. Perhaps it stems from being a perfectionist, oldest child growing up. I used to be smart, fearless. Somehow adulting got in the way.
Running has helped me address this a little bit. I used to HATE, hate running with the running group because I was the slowest person. I even cried at my first group run because I got lost and when I got back there was no ice cream left. (And I LOVE ice cream). Eventually I overcame that fear and learned to enjoy running with the group, but somehow I have gotten back into the fear mode.
This week I went to a new group called Hills and Stairs. There are a ton of ultra runners and very pretty people in it. We took off from Founders (a local brewery where we begin and end the run) and right away I went into panic mode. I struggled to keep up. DH had agreed to stay with me, but I still felt the familiar tightness in my chest as every.single.runner passed me. We got to the parking ramp and started up the stairs. Somehow I was in front of other people and when I slowed to a walk I decided to turn around and walk back down so I wouldn’t block other people. DH said that I had turned around with only one flight left. Ouch.
Then it was time for the hills. I hadn’t realized that they wait for everyone to go down and then up the hill. So I made the mistake of going all the way down. “Good job,” said the other runners as they passed me on the way up. To be fair to DH, he DID stay with me. I grumbled to him that “Good job” is code for “Holy F— you are slow.” No one says “good job” to the fast runners as they speed by. One particularly enthusiastic cheerleader, a guy with shaggy hair, made me feel like total crap because he had to do the fist bump when I finally got to the top. I’m sure he meant it as encouragement, but for me it was a big “YOU SUCK” gesture.
The rest of the night I just had this tightness in my chest, like there were weights holding me back. DH kept telling me that he KNEW I could run faster. I told him he was full of crap, that he didn’t know how I felt. But then . . . on the final hill up to Founders, I thought maybe he was right. I decided to sprint it up and caught him off guard. He couldn’t catch me. I was barely out of breath.
As I savored a nitro oatmeal stout afterward, I was struck again at how much running is like a metaphor for life. In what other areas am I holding myself back? What if . . . I really did have a sprint left in me? What if, as DH says, that I could actually be a faster runner than HIM if I put my mind to it?
What would you do if you could not fail?
I screwed up my courage and dared to dream. If I could not fail, what would I do?
- develop a cohesive visual brand for Wholistic Woman and open a shop with beautiful things to help people achieve a sense of wellness
- dedicate more time towards writing content that helps others become healthy in all areas of life
- invite guest authors to share their wisdom
- significantly grow social media platforms to reach more people with the message of having a balanced approach to health and fitness
- fill in-person and online workshops to help people design their own individualized nutrition and wellness plan
- offer downloadable ebooks and courses for those who prefer to work at their own pace
- guest post on influential websites
In order to accomplish this, I need to be even more intentional with the time that I spend on my business. I need to get over my fear and ask for the sales that will allow me to earn income to outsource some of the administrative tasks and household duties to give me the time to write and host workshops.
There, I’ve put it out into the world. The past few days I’ve been hampered by fear; the same fear that caused me to run slower than I am able. Writing this post has helped me realize that I can sprint, if I only try. I’m sharing this because maybe there is something that you want. Maybe it will help you overcome fear. Other people have done it. Why can’t we?
What would you do if you could not fail?